Set Priorities

There’s this thing, like a pebble in my shoe, a thorn in the brain so to speak, that’s always pestering me, always telling me to write.As cheesy as that sounds, here I am. I’m so happy for the 20-30 of you that read this blog. That’s flattering.

I was overthinking my life these days. As always haha. I’ve been losing my precious time on pointless people and things. I’ll give some examples. I kept in touch with one guy. He could always meet up only at that time when I had rehearsals. So, what did I? Skipped dance classes, in order to see and spend time with that guy. What’s the conclusion? I haven’t grown professionally in dancing. That’s sad. So, what about the guy? I don’t even know where he’s now. Yet another example is that I was admitted to participate in Technovation tournament, where you need to have coding and programming skills. I was thinking about it, because it’s worldwide famous championship blah blah. However, I ended up at right decision.

Here’s my advice. Always ask yourself: «Do you need it?» So, I asked myself. Do I want to do programming in future, is it my niche, do I really want to do it? Both answers were no. The correct answer is: I can spend this time on something more important to me such as college, practicing dance, studying German.

The question «Do I need it?» Work with people as well. Every time you wonder if you want to date that girl/guy or not, do you have future with this person, feelings? The answer here is very clear. Yes or No. There are no other options.

Life can be black and white. You can be only hot or cold, you can date or not date, you can do it or not. Learn to define what’s important for you, what do YOU want. Once you’ve found answers to these questions — set priorities. And then begin to live the life you actually want.

Thanks for reading

Fiona Edwards

Almaty, KZ

Do you have a dream?

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.” – Ben Franklin

My social circle becomes smaller. There are too many people without goals or any passion. “I don’t read books” that embassy guy tells me”, I don’t really know what to study at university” a female friend from a wealthy background notes to me.

People are boring, not all of them, but a lot of those with who I used to keep in touch.

I don’t have much to write about. “NY I love you” by LCD Soundsystem is playing softly in the background. I haven’t had any reason to write in a while. I’m in this weird, blurry, content state of indifference. Stable. A down-to-earth, “dumb” state of ‘happiness’. Religion posts was awesome, but now I feel like not have any cool ideas. I don’t really have anything to complain about. Passion? I’m not passionate anymore. What’s fucked up is that I don’t care that I don’t care that I’m not passionate anymore. Or maybe am I just lazy?

You know what? Kazakh guys are boring. Ask them what’s your dream? You’ll get an answer “good job, high ranking civil service post, gucci suit, Maserati”. Is this all you’ve ever wanted? Typical model for happiness. I feel sorry for such people but maybe it is real big dream, is it something worthy to dream about? I recognize these tendencies in myself sometimes and that frustrates me.

I’ll continue write this blog. I’ll keep dancing, then I’ll do bachelor degree. I’ll get married around 30. Have a couple of kids. Die around 70-80 years old. and That’s it. I just wanna be normal or maybe I wanna be normal today? Fuck perfection. Fuck ‘greatness’, I’m over it.

Also, I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and have a completely new, opposite paradigm.

Thanks for reading

Fiona Edwards

1 am

Almaty, KZ