Everything in my life happens randomly! I never scold myself for something what I’ve done accidentally. My accidents knew better than me how and when to happen. I never control my impulses, if I want — I do.
Had a nice day today. Didn’t go to classes cause they’re boring , however met one person and we had so many interesting things to talk about. I enjoy such deep conversations. I wasn’t planning the meeting, it happened very randomly. All random things, people which happen in my life are usually picturesque. I feel lucky, it’s like something holding my hand and pointing where to go, and I always end up in something interesting and I’m happy about it.
Maybe I should change such lifestyle? Can people change? It’s kind of a mystery. Sometimes I get in these moods and get all amped to do nothing wrong, be all healthy, think long-term, logical. Make rational, boring decisions on the road to SUCCESS! Then the next day I’m back to my normal ‘Fun World’ paradigm. Do we strive to be better? Or do we just enjoy the ride and go with the flow? Can there be a balance?
Tell me this. If one guy lives his life eating bagels and cream cheese with coffee and cream every morning and he’s happy BUT he has a dad bod and dies of a heart attack at 60, and there’s another guy who eats healthy but he’s a little less happy because he can’t eat bagels and people also automatically assume he’s a douche because of his six-pack and he dies at say 80 (wow nice 20 more years of being old!) Which is better? I think about this stuff.
12 20 am
There’s this thing, like a pebble in my shoe, a thorn in the brain so to speak, that’s always pestering me, always telling me to write.As cheesy as that sounds, here I am. I’m so happy for the 20-30 of you that read this blog. That’s flattering.
I was overthinking my life these days. As always haha. I’ve been losing my precious time on pointless people and things. I’ll give some examples. I kept in touch with one guy. He could always meet up only at that time when I had rehearsals. So, what did I? Skipped dance classes, in order to see and spend time with that guy. What’s the conclusion? I haven’t grown professionally in dancing. That’s sad. So, what about the guy? I don’t even know where he’s now. Yet another example is that I was admitted to participate in Technovation tournament, where you need to have coding and programming skills. I was thinking about it, because it’s worldwide famous championship blah blah. However, I ended up at right decision.
Here’s my advice. Always ask yourself: «Do you need it?» So, I asked myself. Do I want to do programming in future, is it my niche, do I really want to do it? Both answers were no. The correct answer is: I can spend this time on something more important to me such as college, practicing dance, studying German.
The question «Do I need it?» Work with people as well. Every time you wonder if you want to date that girl/guy or not, do you have future with this person, feelings? The answer here is very clear. Yes or No. There are no other options.
Life can be black and white. You can be only hot or cold, you can date or not date, you can do it or not. Learn to define what’s important for you, what do YOU want. Once you’ve found answers to these questions — set priorities. And then begin to live the life you actually want.
Thanks for reading
The longer you go without working out, the less tone you get, the more weight you gain, the less likely you’ll start working out again.
The longer you go without studying or reading, the more anxious you get about it, the less likely you’ll start read or study. Same dilemma.
Then suddenly, out of chance, you get home one day in all your automation, and you happen to eat more than one or two cookies, not realizing it would put you in a deep 6-hour sugar crash.
You wake up on the couch. The TV’s on. It’s 5am. You turn the TV off and you sit there. You feel a little groggy, but something’s different. You care. Sandwiches? No. Today let’s try eggs and veggies. No bread, No sugar. Let’s write down some goals. Let’s do some crunches. Take a shower. Clean up the apartment. Why now? Who knows. It’s just the motion of the universe I guess. Over-analyzing it won’t get you anywhere either. That kind of thinking will put you back down the rabbit hole. Today, you care.
Maybe I’ll stick with it this time. Boiled eggs, black beans, peas & carrots, green tea. 60 crunches. Don’t skip any dance rehearsals. Jump rope until I’m sweating. Hop in the shower. Sit down on a chair and wait. Wait until it comes. Then do studying and write.
Saturday’s will be cheat day, because “Shabbat”. It’s Jewish day off. Or maybe Tuesday? A lot of things are cheaper on Tuesdays, the movies? Tuesday’s will be filled with Soda, Candies, Mcdonald’s, and all the other poisonous things you can think of. Complete freedom and debauchery.
Then back to structure. Discipline. Self-control. Self-awareness.
Thanks for Reading