5am motivation?

The longer you go without working out, the less tone you get, the more weight you gain, the less likely you’ll start working out again.

The longer you go without studying or reading, the more anxious you get about it, the less likely you’ll start read or study. Same dilemma.

Then suddenly, out of chance, you get home one day in all your automation, and you happen to eat more than one or two cookies, not realizing it would put you in a deep 6-hour sugar crash.

You wake up on the couch. The TV’s on. It’s 5am. You turn the TV off and you sit there. You feel a little groggy, but something’s different. You care. Sandwiches? No. Today let’s try eggs and veggies. No bread, No sugar. Let’s write down some goals. Let’s do some crunches. Take a shower. Clean up the apartment. Why now? Who knows. It’s just the motion of the universe I guess. Over-analyzing it won’t get you anywhere either. That kind of thinking will put you back down the rabbit hole. Today, you care.

Maybe I’ll stick with it this time. Boiled eggs, black beans, peas & carrots, green tea. 60 crunches. Don’t skip any dance rehearsals. Jump rope until I’m sweating. Hop in the shower. Sit down on a chair and wait. Wait until it comes. Then do studying and write.

Saturday’s will be cheat day, because “Shabbat”. It’s Jewish day off. Or maybe Tuesday? A lot of things are cheaper on Tuesdays, the movies? Tuesday’s will be filled with Soda, Candies, Mcdonald’s, and all the other poisonous things you can think of. Complete freedom and debauchery.

Then back to structure. Discipline. Self-control. Self-awareness.

Thanks for Reading

Fiona Edwards

5am

Almaty, Kazakhstan

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